


Finding Balance

by HaileyBird15



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Fandom
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Family Drama, Post-Episode VIII, Post-Last Jedi, Rey Has Family, Young Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-16 03:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13045119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaileyBird15/pseuds/HaileyBird15
Summary: Rey and her fraternal twin sister, Mira, were orphaned as children, but their force sensitivity drew the attention of Master Luke Skywalker as he begins to teach the next generation of Jedi. They quickly befriended the young Ben Solo, Mira's empath abilities tempering Rey and Ben's immense power. It is their friendship that protects them when Ben turns.Years later, after Luke separated the girls for their safety, Mira now lives her life in peace running an orphanage for force sensitive children on the request of Luke. Now, however, with the strengthening of Rey and Kylo Ren's bond, she finds herself brought back into the drama of her past. Kylo intends to use Mira to draw Rey back to him with the promise of family so Rey will rule by his side. He doesn't expect the once quiet and curious Mira to be a bigger complication in his plan.





	1. Prologue

_I, obviously, don't own Star Wars or else I wouldn't be here. Mira is the only one I came up with._

It was a surprisingly sunny day on the normally cloudy planet of Lah’mu. Mira looked beyond her small garden towards the black sand beaches that outlined the coast. When Master Luke first suggested this small plot of land for refuge, she hadn’t been so sure of it. After all, it was once home to the inventor named Erso who created the Death Star all those years ago. Surely, the first order may come to this place. However, after over 20 years, they had yet to catch up to her.

  
Until now, she thinks to herself as she spies the dark figures of Order ships flying along the horizon.

  
Mira wipes her dirt-stained hand down her apron and rushes into the small orphanage. She sees that the children have also noticed the ships. They stare out the window, transfixed by the fear of being found.

  
“Kya, come here,” she said.

  
A small, violet-haired girl of 12 runs from her perch by the largest window and stands in front of the young woman. Mira kneels in front of her and takes the girl by the shoulders.

  
“Take the others and go to the hiding spot, okay?”

  
“But-,” the little girl tries to say, but her caretaker silences her with a wave of her hand.

  
“No buts. You are the oldest,” Mira says. “The others will listen to you. You know that I will come to you when they are gone.”

  
“But what if they hurt you,” says one of the younger boys, who stands like a shadow behind Kya.

  
Mira’s face softens as she pulls out a homing beacon disguised as a necklace from her small bodice. She pulls the aged leather cord til it gives and places it in the girl’s hand.

  
“Take this. If I am not back in a day, you need to press this button so the resistance can find you. Do NOT come looking for me. Understand?”

  
A look of resolve settles on the girl’s face, so out of place when mixed with her youthful chubby cheeks and wide eyes. She quickly hugs her caretaker, before beginning to lead the other children towards a secret passage near the kitchen.

  
There were ten children in total of different sizes and species, but each gave Mira a fierce hug before disappearing into a small, damp tunnel leading out into the various caverns of the planet. Mira prayed to the force that each of her charges would be safe. Who knew what the first order would do if they were to get ahold of the children’s power.

  
After the last of the toddlers is guided out to safety, Mira closes the passage until it once more looks like a seamless wall.

  
The crack of a clay pot outside alerts her to the arrival of the unwanted guests. From beneath the kitchen counter, she pulls out an old, rusted blaster and charges it as she steps out into the morning sun of the garden.

  
She aims and fires a warning shot at the black armored stormtrooper who damaged a pot of her herbs.

  
“Take one more step into my cabbages and I won’t miss on the next one.”

  
A cough draws her attention to her left and, for a moment, she freezes in place. A familiar dark-haired figure stares down the barrel of her blaster, unconcerned by the threat. He knows she won’t shoot.

  
“It’s been a long time, Mira,” he says.

  
“It took you long enough to find me, Ben Solo.”


	2. The Reunion

Chapter 1

Two rambunctious children run through the crumbling Jedi temple that Master Skywalker had brought them to. Behind them, bursts of green, blue, and red smoke could be seen from the outer corridors.

The older was a young boy just growing into his legs, occasionally tripping over their length. The twelve-year-old’s long, dark curls billowed behind him as he ran ahead of the young girl behind him. He smiled as the girl’s laugh reached his slightly too large ears.

The girl’s brown hair tried to escape her three little buns as she ran. Her cheeks were flushed with excitement and the rush of their latest adventures.

The two children continued to run, know which curves and turns to take in the maze of the temple. Their master did not realize how familiar they were with the temple after just a few months of training there. It was this oversight that made it easy for them to set off the colorful smoke bombs in the canteen before anyone could catch them.

At least, until Mira caught up with them.

Young Ben Solo didn’t notice the small sandaled foot that popped out of a nook just ahead of him until he was tripping over it, falling flat on his face. Little Rey abruptly stops and goes to help her friend up.

“Mira, you could have hurt him,” Rey complained to her sister.

Mira stepped out from the shadows, her face containing the same thinness as her sister but containing a slight tanner coloring. Her dark brown eyes held an unspeakable depth as if they were looking into the depths of the galaxy. A stark contrast to the glimmer of mischief and wonder in her sister’s hazel eyes.

“He’s fine, Rey,” Mira said. “You can’t be defending him every time someone trips him or makes fun of him. He’s to be a Jedi. He can stand for himself.”

Rey looked to argue again, but Ben put a steady hand on her arm. He climbs to his feet and stares Mira down.

“Why did you do that,” he asked.

Instead of an answer, Mira let out a small gasp and pulled her sister and friend into the room she had just left. The three children peak around the corner of the doorway to see Master Luke Skywalker stalking through the halls, green and blue paint covering his hair and clothes.

“For the love of the Force, those kids will be the death of me,” Luke muttered. He didn’t notice the kids even as they held their giggles back.

“You knew he was coming,” Ben asked.

“I could feel his frustration. If you kept going, you would have –"

“Run right into him,” Rey finished, grinning at her sister.

Mira shrugs. “Master Luke always told us to be aware of our surroundings, of the Force around us.”

Mira smiles over at Rey before taking her hand and running towards the gardens, Ben following on their heels as their laughter echoed through the halls.

\----

As she realized that the famed Kylo Ren wasn’t going to attack her just yet, Mira slowly lowers her blast from his face.

“You’re taller than I remember,” she said.

For a moment, it seems as if a corner of his mouth inched slightly up in a smirk. However, as quickly as it appeared, it was gone again, and his face was stone once more.

“Leave us,” he commanded. The stormtroopers that accompanied stood at attention but made no move to leave the garden.

“I said—”

“There are meat pies in the kitchen if you would like some.”

Kylo Ren and the troopers turned to the strange girl. She was shorter than them, thin and lithe where her sister was muscle and power. However, what she lacked in physical strength, however, she made up for with the aura of her inner power that surrounded her and the graceful way she moved towards the dark knight. She did not fear him.

“I’m sure you’re hungry, and the rations on military ships never looked appetizing. Help yourselves.”

After a beat and a nod from their leader, the soldiers marched into the small crop of buildings in search of the promised treat.

Kylo Ren merely looked down at the young woman with an eyebrow raised.

“Really,” he asked?

Mira rolled her eyes as she walked over the box holding her gardening tools. “Shut up and pick up a spade.”

“A what?”

Mira pulled a small rusty spade and tossed it towards Kylo's head. He barely catches it with the force before it could give a scar to match the one he already had.

Mira continued to roam through her tools, not caring about the rage the quickly darkened Kylo’s face.

“Do me a favor,” she says. “Prune those plants near the south wall. Their roots are extremely thick for such small things, and I’m not quite strong enough to break through.”

Kylo continues to huff, anger rising and threatening to boil over. “You would have me, the Supreme Leader –”

“I don’t care what you are.”

That made his anger pause. Everywhere he went people feared or respected him. Not her though. Mira turned towards Kylo, her dark brown, nearly black hair starting to escape the confines of her messy braid. She propped her hands her hips and, for a moment, he saw the little girl he once called a friend.

“I could feel your rage the moment you entered the atmosphere. The least you can do is put it to good use. Now, if you want to talk, you need to take off that ridiculous cape and take your anger out on those roots before the choke out my flowers. We can talk while you work.”

Kylo Ren blinked down at the young woman and, this time, a genuine grin flickered a few seconds longer than before. With a shrug of his shoulders, his heavy cloak fell into a heap at his feet causing Mira to roll her eyes again.

“You are still so damned overdramatic,” Mira muttered to herself as she rolled up her sleeves and guided Kylo towards the designated patch of grass and flowers. As unwanted as this meeting was, at least she would get those annoying weeds out of her garden once and for all.


	3. Old Habits

The dark knight of the force was knee deep in dirt, hacking at half-buried roots and feeling a sense of satisfaction every time he heard the audible “snap” of a root breaking. Mira stood above him, leaning against the worn stone wall as she waited for his temper to soften.

She took the moment to observe her old friend. His hair was longer, hiding the ears she could just see poking out from beneath the dark, dampening strands. He took his shirt off after a few moments in the sweltering summer sun. At first, she was startled. It had been a long while since she had seen a man, much less a strong half-naked one, but once that shock faded she was left merely intrigued. His skin was paler. It appeared that he did not go into the sun often.

A jagged scar stretched across the right side of his face, making him appear more dangerous. She wondered how he got it.

In the blink of an eye, she caught a few glimpses of snow, the dancing red and blue light of dueling lightsabers, and a shred of familiar dark hair. A firm hold on her wrist broke her from the flashing images and she was looking directly into Kylo Ren’s dark eyes.

“Stop doing that,” he ground through clenched teeth. She had the courtesy of looking guilty.

“Sorry about that,” she said. “Old habits.”

“We’re not kids anymore.”

“I never said we were.” She walked a few steps toward a patch of bright blue fruit growing on the vines that crawled up the house. Gently, she let her fingers trail across a few browning leaves and smiled as they slowly greened back to life.

She looks toward her companion to see him staring at her a held back wonder.

“I’ve never seen the Force do that,” he whispered.

She grinned. “There’s a lot you don’t know about the Force. Have I impressed the fearsome Kylo Ren?”

He let out a dry chuckle. “I’m merely interested.”

“Well then, if you tell me why you are here then I may tell you how I did it.”

Kylo’s face turns grim as he stands to his full height. He wipes the dirt off his hands with a nearby towel Mira had around before going to join her by the wall.

“What do you know about your sister,” he asked?

“Well, we were born on the same day—”

“I meant where she is now.”

“I know nothing about her. I haven’t seen Rey in near 15 years since you destroyed the temple.” She turned her back to him and wandered towards another patch that needed her attention. She refused to show him the tears that gathered in her eyes.

“Nothing? Not where she is? Her place in the resistance? Not—”

“Resistance?”

This caused Mira to turn back to Kylo and really look at him. She caught more flashes from him. Some were images: a girl, her sister, strapped to a chair for interrogation, he sister staring down in horror as Kylo speared his father with a red saber, seeing Rey across a Force bond, Kylo and Rey fighting side-by-side in a red room. Other flashes were more emotions: regret, anger, sadness, hope, defeat, loneliness, worry, concern, pride, light, dark, confusion.

“You’ve seen her,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper.

Then, another flash flares above all the others, causing her to chuckle lightly.

“Oh, no, you haven’t just seen her. You love her.”

Kylo’s face flushes pink, a stark contrast to his dark attire. “What? No.”

“Oh, this is rich. I should have known when we were children that you two—”

“I don’t love her!” He nearly stomped his foot like a petulant child.

“Yes. Yes, you do, I don’t even try to lie to me about it. We may not have seen each other for years, but it is still impossible for you to lie to me.”

He went quiet, remembering the small girl standing beside her sister. She used to giggle whenever he tried to lie to Skywalker, immediately giving him away. The one time he tried to lie to her face, she punched him in the nose for losing her favorite stuffed animal and trying to blame it on one of the temple caretakers.

“Fine,” he said, knowing that the years couldn’t change somethings. “I…have feelings for Rey. Possibly. But she denied me.”

“Then why are you here,” Mira asks. “Shouldn’t you be winning her back or something? Buying flowers? Taking her to dinner? Not trying to kill her and her friends?”

“She WILL join me and the First Order.”

“And how do you plan to do that?”

“Isn’t it obvious? You’re going to help me do it.”

“Again, HOW?”

A small, dark smile curves across Kylo Ren’s face. “By holding the last connection to her past hostage. Whether you like it or not, you will be returning with me to the First Order.”


	4. Memories and Deals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm thrilled that readers are enjoying this story. This chapter will be longer and will have some moments of mild violence so, be warned. This chapter clarifies a few things on why Rey doesn't know Mira and a bit on Mira's power with the Force. I was determined to wrap up this scene in the garden and move the next part of the story where things really get interesting. Enjoy!

For a moment, Mira gave Kylo Ren a blank stare as his words processed through her mind. A hostage? Her?

Then she burst into laughter.

Kylo looked at the young woman doubled over in laughter as if she had suddenly grown a pair of tentacles. She continued to laugh like this for several minutes, clutching the wall to hold herself upright. Each ticking moment flared Ren’s temper another notch until he could no longer hold it in.

The red power of his lightsaber cut through the morning air before slicing through a nearby tree trunk. Ren hatched at the thick trunk twice before the saber flew from his hand. He turned with a shock to find a no longer laughing, very much angry Mira holding the red blade toward his throat.

For a beat, the two glared at each other, daring the other to make the next move. Nothing moved. Not even the birds in the distance sang.

“No one,” Mira whispered. “Messes with my garden.”

Then, just like that, the standoff was over as brief as the rage-filled tantrum and joyous laughter. The red glow retreated, and Mira through the weapon across the garden like it would burn her hand if she continued to hold it. She straightened herself and stepped toward the damage done to the tree.

Kylo Ren turns his face in an attempt to avoid the sad look in her eyes as she gently skims her fingers across the burned wood. He shouldn’t feel guilty about a few splinters, but since his interactions with Rey weeks ago his emotions had been getting the best of him. Seeing her sister look at a tree as if it were a hurt child didn’t help.

However, he was the Supreme Leader, and he needed this girl to bring Rey, his equal, to his side. He squares his shoulders and uses his height to tower over Mira.

“You will come with me to the First Order,” he commanded. “You WILL help me bring Rey into the fold.”

Mira turns away from the tree to the dark man, smirking when all she could see was the boy she once knew playing emperor.

“And tell me, Supreme Leader, what makes you think I will go with you? You and your soldiers come here uninvited, break my pots, hack through my trees, and expect me to go with you to help trap my long-lost sister? I thought you were smart, Ben Solo.”

“Ben Solo is dead.”

“Not from what I can see.”

“You will come with me, willingly or not.” 

An empty chuckle escapes Mira’s lips. “You just saw that I could take that unstable saber from your grasp as if it were a rose plucked from a bush. You can’t MAKE me do anything.”

Kylo raises a single eyebrow. “Oh, no?”

The door to the house opens with a bang, drawing Mira’s attention. A stormtrooper marches out into the garden, their grasp around the shaking a wrist of little Kya and a blaster pointer to her head.

Mira tries to run to the terrified girl but is stopped by a strong arm pulling her from the waist into Kylo Ren’s firm chest.

“You son of a bitch,” she screams, trying to force her way out of his grip without success. They may be near equal in the Force, but he was physically imposing compared to her.

Kylo chuckles.

“Now, now, I thought you liked my mother,” he mocked.

“She is not a part of this. She’s just a child.”

“But a powerful one, isn’t she? She would do wonderfully training with my knights.”

“She has no power she—”

Kylo tugs Mira until they are nearly nose to nose, his eyes filled with a dark fire that chilled Mira to her bones.

“Don’t lie to me, Mira,” he hisses, spit falling onto her cheeks. “You said I could never lie to you and I would hope you’d show me the same respect.”

“You lost that respect when you betrayed the Jedi and killed my friends.”

A loud smack echoed through the air as Mira’s face stings from the slap.

“Miss Mira,” Kya cries, struggling against her captor.

He ignores the child’s pleas, his focus solely on Mira.

“I can feel her power through the Force as well as the power of the others not far from here. I will bend them to the will of the First Order, and you can do nothing about it. I can take you to my destroyer and lock you away, a dangling piece of bait to show the Rebellion and draw Rey out of the light.”

“She won’t betray the light for me,” Mira said, her brown eyes meeting his without fear. He tilts his head as he tries to poke her mind. She is too sure of her words for his liking, but her walls are well built.

“What makes you so certain that she won’t come running to save her sister,” he asks.

Mira grins. Kylo frowns.

“Because she doesn’t remember me. To her, I don’t exist. She has no sister.”

Kylo throws her to the ground, her knees scraping on the stepping stones that weave their way through the garden.

“WHAT,” he screams?

Mira merely smiles. She has the upper hand.

“You’ve seen into her mind, Kylo,” she says, his new name a slur on her tongue. “She doesn’t remember our parents. Neither of us does. But she also didn’t remember you, did she? Or the temple? Or Skywalker?”

“It’s common for extreme events to be blocked from the mind,” he rationalizes. “To protect it.”

“Did you not think to look deeper,” she asks? “Deeper than maps or rebel information? Has the Order made you forget what lies at the heart of the mind? Family? Friends? A past worth fighting for? Or do you only think of war and battles to be won? You wouldn’t see it in her even if you DID look. All you would see…is sand.”

He grabs her by the hair and forces her on to her knees. She can hear poor Kya squirming in the background.

“Why does she not remember,” he asks.

“Because I blocked the memories myself.”

He stares at her in shock. “That’s impossible,” he murmurs. She shakes her head, a sad smile settling on her face.

“Not for me. The three of us were always strong, remember, Ben? But while you and Rey studies fighting techniques and lifting rocks, I focused inward. I focused on healing, on the Balance, and on the mind.”

Kylo blinks, and suddenly he is no longer standing in the garden. He and Mira are now in a small, stone room of the temple where the younger Mira sits cross-legged next across from Luke Skywalker. His fist releases Mira’s hair, causing her to collapse on the ground, as he marches towards the image of his uncle. He grits his teeth as his hand passes right through the man’s graying hair.

“It’s a memory, idiot,” Mira groans. She pushes herself back to her feet as the memory continues to play in front of them.

Luke holds out a closed fist to young Mira, and the child mirrors him. Together, they open their palms to reveal blooming flowers of light. His flower is the blue of his saber. Her flower is a soft lavender.

“The flower is not there, Mira. It is all in our mind,” Luke explains. “The Force flows through us, through our hearts, our bodies, and our minds. We have the power to feel the Force, to use it to heal, to bring life. Even to change minds.”

“Like when your friend confused those soldiers about the droids,” the girl asks. “The ones in your story?”

Luke chuckles. “Yes, little one. Just like that.”

“Can you do other things too?”

“Of course, you can make people forget things or think they need to do something else.”

“Or let you have dessert for breakfast?”

“Or even have dessert….wait.” Luke pauses, staring down at the girl in confusion. “Did you make the cooks think—”

The girl quickly got to her feet and rushed from the room, immediately trying to make up for her slip.

“No, got to go.”

As young Mira disappears from the room, the older version lets the memory fade and returning the two to the garden.

“I was strong then,” Mira says, observing Kylo as he took what he just saw. “Strong enough to trick the cooks and, eventually, to make people forget things. Why do you think he and Rey never got into trouble for your pranks?”

“You made them forget,” he whispered, beginning to understand. 

She nods her head. “I made them forget.”

He turns to her, the soldier and child forgotten as he truly looks at his friends for the first time.

“But to make your sister forget everything, you would need to be—”

“And I was.”

“Why?”

Mira shrugs, looking down at her feet. She shyly looks up at him and, for a second, he sees the child he once knew in those wide, ever-wise eyes.

“She loved you, Ben. Even then. What you did plus being separated from me….it would have destroyed her. I had to protect my sister.”

Kylo’s mind was racing. His bargaining chip, the last family Rey had in the universe, was useless. Mira was no one.

 _Then again,_ he thought, _what can be taken away…._

“Then you’ll give it back.”

Mira looks at him, confused.

“Give what back?”

“Her memories. If I can get Rey close enough, you could give her those memories back, yes?”

“In theory, but….why would I do that? Better yet, why would I come with you? We’ve been over that. You can’t make me go.”

A grin crosses Kylo’s face. He Force pulls his saber to his hand and ignites it, pointing straight to where Kya was still standing with his soldier.

“If you don’t go,” he explains. “Then they will.”

Mira’s face nearly turns purple in her anger.

“You would threaten the life of a child?”

“No, not threaten. Rebuild. They will be the next generation of my knights. An honor to serve their Supreme Leader.”

“You monster.” The two stare each other down.

Mira tries to find a way out, but can only see the stalemate in front of her. Her life or the lives of the children she swore to protect.

“If I go,” she asks. “You leave them here.”

“Leave them only? What kind of caretaker are you?”

“There are others,” she explained.

“Rebels.”

“Good people.”

“Why don’t I just take you both?”

“Because,” she grits out, too annoyed and angry at the man in front of her. “If you let them go, I’ll make Rey remember everything. Me. The temple. And…her feelings for you.”

Kylo nearly caught his breath at those words. She said Rey had once loved him. If she remembered, there might be….he would dare say, there was hope.

He lowers his weapon and extends his hand.

“Deal,” he asks.

Mira squares her shoulders. She accepts her fate, hesitantly placing her hand in his.

“Deal.”

Kylo nods and both Mira and her charge collapse into a Force sleep.

“Leave the girl inside,” he commands the Trooper as he takes Mira’s light figure into his arms. “We have what we need.”


End file.
